Hari Raya, 2020

And just like that, the first day of Eid has come to an end. Unlike previous Eids, our house was oddly silent – no guffaws at the dining table, no children screaming in excitement and running around the house, simultaneously, getting berated by their parent; no sound of chairs scraping against the floor in every few minutes, dishes clattering, chatters from every corner of the house until late evening. This time, the silence was so deafening that it felt uncomfortable.

I had spent my day with my parents – exchanging forgiveness, stuffing my face with food as though tomorrow is doomsday, the usual. Family has always been everything to me and i am grateful for yet, another day to be able to be with my loved ones. To be able to hug them first thing in the morning and to be able to apologise (God knows how many people would have been offended by my foul mouth sometimes). Eid has not meant much to me for aeons but now that I find myself in such horrendous and unthinkable circumstance, i can’t help but miss the rest of my family members and i can’t wait for this moment to just be in the past, buried along with other bitter memories for good.

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